Meet our adopters

Raj’s Story

Together4Children - Our Adopters - Raj

I’m a single woman who comes from a large supportive family. I’m currently just starting on the adoption journey and at the very early stages of the approval process.

I love children and I’ve always wanted to be a mother but finally I decided to go it alone rather than sit waiting for Mr. Right!

I’ve spent my life surrounded by children.  From a childhood with a mother who was a childminder, to a life today as a supportive “auntie” to family and friends’ children. 

I hope friends would say I have caring skills and on a wavelength with children.  I’ve supported friends who have children. I also have an amazing nephew who has a serious disability. I can sort out arguing teenagers or soothe the crying baby that no one else can!

I’m keen to create my own family identity with the children I adopt.  I have plenty of family and friends on hand to give advice on the best toddler groups and nurseries for example.  I understand that these early days will be tricky, and I’ll seek special time together with my new family.

People generally describe me as a fun-loving person; they say that I am kindhearted, loyal, positive and practical.  I would say I’m a very driven and focused person who recognises that I can make positive changes in life by planning and decision making but if things don’t go to plan I tend to re-evaluate, seek advice and go own another route – but I feel confident adoption is right for me.

Aiden & Jayden's Story

Together4Children - Our Adopters - Jason and James

Aiden and Jayden first thought about adoption four years ago. As a same sex male couple in their 40’s, they had long ago ruled out the dream of having children of their own, but over the years, with equality and diversity legislation changing the face of society, adoption seemed like a real possibility for them.

After three years of careful consideration, thinking about how it would affect their lives and more importantly how it could affect the lives of the children they might adopt, in September they made an initial telephone call.

Aiden said, “During the three years we had been considering adoption, we had bought and read many books on the subject and on the basis of what we had read, both in these books and also in the media, we geared ourselves up for a hugely complex, very intrusive and impersonal process that may have taken about three years.

“We could not have been more wrong; the process and support were excellent. Just three months after our initial enquiry we were attending our preparation training”.

An adoption social worker supported Aiden and Jayden through the various stages of the process. This included around 10 home visits during which they were interviewed individually and together about every aspect of their lives, their habits and lifestyles, their work and their families, their values and beliefs.

The following September, just one year after Aiden and Jayden made their initial enquiry, they had two children under the age of four living happily with them and their lives had changed beyond all recognition.

Aiden added, “The process was nothing like what we expected or had read about, and the support was second to none. Sure, we have tough days, like most parents, but just being called Daddy every day and the many hugs and kisses we get from our children make it all worthwhile.”

Carl and Natasha's story

Together4Children - Our Adopters - Carl and Natasha

My wife Natasha, and I adopted our two boys five or six years ago called Mark and Kevin. We had decided, early on in the adoption process, that we wanted to adopt two children.  We did not want to go through the whole process again in a few years if we adopted only one child at the beginning. We knew that we did not want to raise an only child. 

Our social worker was very good in supporting us through the matching process. We’d said that we wanted to adopt primary school age children, so the ages that the boys were when we first met them were ideal. We all got along well together right from the start, although there have been issues along the way – Mark has difficulties with his anger on occasion and Kevin has learning difficulties. However, they are both growing into lovely young men and we are so pleased that they are part of our family.

Mark and Kevin are part of a bigger sibling group – five in all, with a brother and sister with one adoptive family and the youngest sister with another adoptive family. Mark and Kevin are the oldest and in fact, Mark was acting as the main carer for quite a few years before the children were taken into care. We all meet up three or four times a year, so that the children can catch up with each other. They also keep in touch over the phone and by email.

We both feel that it was great that we were able to adopt Mark and Kevin. We feel sure that if we had not done so, because they were older children, then the next step would have been for them to be separated for two single adoptions or long-term fostering – and that would not have been right for either of them. 

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